i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My vagina is officially offended.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
