Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
