Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
