this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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