maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
