how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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