So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize