I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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