I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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