4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
