Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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