He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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