i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you inspire me to be a worse person
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
