you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
