Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
