did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
