so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize