At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
