I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
