my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
