If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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