We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
