How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
