Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize