escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
