Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
