you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
