I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize