If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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