is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
