this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i've created a new STD.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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