I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize