I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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