I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
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He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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