I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Panties = found
Randomize
