Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Randomize
