I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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