he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
