Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize