If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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