overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
