a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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