It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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