Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Why does Jon Cryer have a career?

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

That is a good question.

Fav 14 1569 987
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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(763): View more from Minnesota

someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

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(678): View more from Georgia

If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.

Fav 5 1665 2018
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(320): View more from Minnesota

don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING

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(425): View more from Washington

Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.

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(516): View more from New York

I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex

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