Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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