Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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