so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
