its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize