You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
