i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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