you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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