He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
