We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
