In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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