i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
