All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
