i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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