this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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