My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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