Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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