Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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