You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I would fuck him just for his dog
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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