so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
