I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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